Long Distance Caregiving Doesn't Have To Be A Burden

We all are familiar with the struggles that are associated with caring for an elder or aging parent, but imagine how magnified the role of caregiver becomes when your aging loved ones are over 100 miles away.

Caregivers who have elders or aging parents that they care for who live quite a distance away face a number of difficult situations. There are a host of issues to consider for someone in this position. They must balance the needs of their elders or aging parents with the needs of their immediate family, job & financial security.  There are situations where they must decide when to travel to visit their long distance elders or aging parents, which adds more burdens financially. These challenges can be very overwhelming leading to situations of caregiver stress and feelings of guilt.

A thought that often crosses the mind of long distance caregivers is that the situation will be a lot more manageable if their elders or aging parents moved closer to the caregiver. But, this can create a host of other issues. Many aging parents and older relatives do not want to move and lose their old friends, relationships and most importantly they don’t want to lose their independence.

So, what can a long distance caregiver do when their aging parents don’t want to relocate and they are burdened with juggling their current responsibilities and while accepting their new role as caregiver to an elder or aging parent who lives long distance? The worst thing they can do is let the frustration of the situation consume them. There are many resources available for long distance caregivers that can help them make their situations more manageable.

Long Distance Caregiving Tips

Find a Geriatric Care Manager – Professional geriatric care managers are usually licensed nursing or social work professionals who specialize in geriatrics. Some families hire a geriatric care manager to evaluate and assess a parent’s needs and to coordinate care through community resources. The cost of an initial evaluation varies, but geriatric care managers can offer a useful service. They are a sort of “surrogate parent” that can help families identify needs and how they can meet them successfully. These professionals can also be helpful in leading family discussions about sensitive subjects.

Gather Personal, Financial, Health & Legal Information – Effective caregiving depends on keeping a great deal of information in order and up-to-date. Often, long-distance caregivers will need to have information about a parent’s personal, health, financial, and legal records. If you have ever tried to gather and organize your own personal information, you know what a chore it can be. Gathering and organizing this information from far away can seem even more challenging. Maintaining up-to-date information about your relative or parent’s health and medical care, as well as finances, home ownership, and other legal issues, lets you get a handle on what is going on, and allows you to respond quickly if there is a crisis.

Also, pull together a list of prescriptions and over-the-counter medications. Get doses and schedules. This information is essential in a medical emergency.

Plan Ahead – Making advance care plans is a key step for your parent or relative to take to be sure that his or her health care preferences are known. Health care providers can only respect those wishes that have been made known and are documented in the medical record. Advance care planning can help your family avoid some of the conflicts that can occur when family members disagree over treatment decisions.

So find out if your parent or relative has an advance directive stating his or her health care treatment preferences. If not, talk about setting one up. If so, make sure you have a copy and you know where a copy is kept. You might want to make sure the primary caregiver has a copy. The doctor should also have a copy for the medical record.

Become Familiar With Available Resources – Every state has a Department of Aging, which can provide the names of social service agencies that are nearest to your parents. There are also private care managers who have specific expertise in the area of geriatrics and who can provide more specific services. You can also try to find a directory of senior resources and services by checking with a library or senior center for lists of resources. This helps everyone learn what’s out there.

Make Friends – It’s important to start developing relationships with people in the area of your long distance parent or relative. Someone who lives in the area needs to begin the slow process of developing a relationship with you and your parents or relative so that he/she can be your eyes and ears and also develop trust with your parents.

By employing some of these strategies, you can make caring for an aging parent or elder a lot less stressful.

If there are any tips that we missed, please share them in the comments section below.

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